Sharing with you... No. 19
Journeying through new joys and discoveries
Bismillah..
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Journeying through joy and discovery
I sit here, surrounded by the crumbs of joy I’ve made, typing away as my kids sleep those final morning Zzzz’s. Stacks of journals and books, pens and glasses resting on top to my right. A myriad of felt in warm colours line my desk, next to tajweed notebooks and my maroon embossed Qur’an. Books I hold dear, alongside vintage boxes filled with needlepoint necessities and embellishments. My planner lays open, a brass clip pointing to the realization half this year is over while the Islamic year is just beginning. I see it and I’m taken back to the days I spent designing the planner in the midst of grief over a lost friendship, battling with my shifting identity as a new mother, and wondering how to make Canada feel like home.
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I always dreaded P.E. classes. The sharp bright gym lights, the loud whistles, and musty locker rooms. Nothing felt inviting. I would walk in wanting to walk right out.
I loved running and ran a pretty decent time 8.20 minutes for a mile run in 8th grade, but I can't recall any experience with a team sport or more refined athletic ability. I was generally picked last for games and paired up with a clinically obese student named Charles through my 9th grade P.E. classes which worked out well since neither of us wanted to make much conversation anyway. We’d play badminton, quietly tapping the birdie back and forth until that glorious bell would ring to put us both out of misery.
After a long stretch of pouring my time and energy into school, internships, work and the physical demands of bringing babies into this world, I’m now discovering a whole new side of my physical endurance.
I ran my first ever Mud Girl 5K with my best homeschooling mom friends hardly three weeks ago.
Shocking, I know. But wow, it was exhilarating! I imagined a muddy obstacle course but little did I know, it would be ALL mud. We crawled through pits of mud on our hands and knees, climbed over A-frames, carried sacks of weight on our backs, and ran through the lake watching the dry mud from our clothes fade into the blue water creating a cloudy brown tint.
We hopped over obstacle courses, lent each other a hand, and laughed through the slippery falls and slides. We swam through several mud pits and climbed over wet muddy mountains only to slip into a hippo-like habitat, the mud devouring our feet and shoes like quicksand.
We waved our medals at the finish line and swam through even more muddy goo before running through lush forests, skating through beaten paths with our slick brown shoes.
We huddled under the thundering rain inside of a one-person portable change room while changing into dry clothes in record time before the change station flew away. Cold and wet with another helping of rain, we waited for our “shuttle” to take us back to our rides. I’d never felt happier to see a school bus. We devoured hot burgers and cold shakes to round out the day before coming home to heaps of laundry with Mud Girl bandanas across our foreheads and branded stickers on our mud-masked cheeks.
And through it all, I thought about how akin the experience was to being a full-time mom – no sick days, no leaves, just good ole motherhood year-round alhumdulillah. We carry our babies for 9 months, waddling to appointments, followed by months of lifting car seats and carriers, packing strollers and diaper bags into our trunks. We bathe our babies as we reach over to grab towels, and the 3rd change of clothes for the day before bending to wipe the floors of whatever mess is waiting for us: soapy water, food that was supposed to make it into their mouth, spilled milk, or the scarring days of potty training misses. Our knees take a beating from grinding into hard tiles on the bathroom floor. We barely notice in the middle of it all until the pain says “hello, here I am” right before bed. But that’s not all. We jump and hop to our babies’ favourite songs watching their eyes light up, before picking up their quickly growing bodies when they need our warm hugs as we single-handedly cook dinner, sculpting our arms along the way. Our bodies were made for this.
The 5K was one for the books but let me tell you how I got here. A year ago, my friend @JiaJamali invited me to her Muslim ladies-only fitness classes and I suddenly recalled all my less-than-great P.E. memories from school. She promised her classes were fun and totally easygoing, no-judgement zones. She herself embodies an energy I was drawn to so I told myself I’d give it a shot. I came in, unsure and uneasy, and kept my hijab on for the first few classes. Guys, my lack of coordination was so real that I kid you not, I punched myself during part of the choreography.
It’s okay, you can laugh.
Fast forward two seasons later – I didn’t miss a single class and managed to grasp most of the choreography! Who even am I? The tides are seriously turning. Could a team sport be in my future?!
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Despite my husband doing most of the volunteering for our local Muslim Nature School, I got an invitation for the ladies' retreat as an added bonus this year alhumdulillah. Completely secluded in the wilderness with (mostly) no Wi-Fi, 11 sisters and a weekend filled with hiking, reflecting, needle felting, cooking, laughing, night-walking, kayaking, and sitting around campfires. It was my first time ever going away from family overnight but hearing my husband say how much he knew I needed something like this made it all so special alhumdulillah.
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The truth is, the blissful homeschooling lifestyle I try to create alongside my creative projects brings me tremendous joy, and it really is like living a dream but it also requires a type of inner and outer effort that takes a lot out of me. Just like anything worthwhile with many benefits, the sacrifice is just as great. I also tend to box myself into certain categories (writing, creating, teaching .. and circling back to writing, creating, teaching) but it’s been powerful doing things out of my norm and activating other intelligences.
I can be both creative and athletic.
I can have the full motherhood experience and cultivate friendships for myself.
Immersing myself in these experiences that stretch me and fill me with powerful positive memories over the last two years has helped me embrace Canada as home. We can never know what lies ahead, but we can bloom here and now.
What else is new?
I’m running a Homeschool Guidance Session if you’d like to join inshaAllah!
A review from one of my attendees last session♡
Honestly, jazaki Allaah khayr. I loved connecting with you and truly wish we were neighbors. After speaking with you I feel like I’ve regained my confidence. I love how you simplify homeschooling and make it seem doable. I constantly worry that I’m messing up or not doing enough, but our conversation helped me redirect my focus. I was really inspired by your homeschooling approach, and it motivated me to be more organized in my journey and to create a rhythm that suits my family.
Z. Hamed
Refresh Sisterhood will open for enrolment in September for all our Creative Muslim Mothers looking for a nurturing virtual community to connect and share!
Thanks so much for reading!
Till next time,
Asma
P.S.: Don’t forget to vote on the poll at the top as I’ll be changing up my email list before the next newsletter goes out inshaAllah.
One of my friends was JUST telling me about the mud run… mashallah, your enthusiasm is inspiring!